I am experiencing some kind of music confusion.
I cannot decide what I want to listen to, and based entirely on previous facts and acquired knowledge, there is a need for me to admit that this could be a good thing.
Music has always been an essential part of my depression.
It is very clear that, the deeper I am into the darkness pit, my music choices go accordingly. I also tend to share a lot more, with friends or generally on the internets, mostly because when words fail (and they so often do during these times), music can do the talking for you.
Lyrics speak to your soul as though they were specifically written for you, personally (which is a terrible, terrible lie and a tendency to live life as if it was a movie and it’s not anywhere near helping the situation).
So, when all this goes away, you are left with the music that is easy for your ear. You keep your favourites, forget about the rest, add new kinds to the list. You still like listening to some of them, but you don’t depend on them.
Right now, I don’t know what exactly is happening.
My “good” playlists are irritating, my “bad” ones are insufferable.
Nothing will suffice.
“Everything is dumb and empty”, I keep repeating.
Maybe music as well.
Or maybe it’s just an in-between step, a small landing between the ladders that go Up.